I know it’s the beginning of the New Year and I ought to be writing about something hopeful and peppy maybe but I know I cannot be the only person here in 2020 that feels a little bit sad. Because as the ball dropped and people all around the world welcomed the next three hundred and sixty five days with fireworks, toasts and celebrations I was sitting on my couch feeling no different than I had 10 seconds earlier. I still felt lost, heartbroken and confused.
I had so many hopes for 2019 and it wouldn't be entirely accurate to say that it was all bad. It wasn’t. There were so many beautiful moments. We bought our first home after a period of being without a home. We welcomed winter mornings with cups of coffee and hugs. We made new friends. Experienced healing physically and spiritually. We fully enjoyed every seasonal activity when illness had prevented us from doing so the years before. This year was truly a gift as each moment we have on this earth is. Many prayers have been answered this year but I have to be honest, the ones that feel most pressing haven’t.
So what happens then? What happens when the suffering still continues? When you are still single when all your friends have gotten married? When they still don’t have a diagnosis for the pain you live with every day? When your child still hasn’t come back home? What happens when it’s another year gone and your biggest hopes and desires are still unmet? What happens then?
One of my all-time favorite movies to watch during the Holidays is It’s a Wonderful Life, and although it’s the beginning of another year and this is probably way past the time to be writing about Christmas movies, I had to share one of my favorite moments in the film. Two angels are discussing the main character of the film George Bailey. The dialogue goes something like this: “Clarence. A man down on earth needs our help.” “Splendid! Is he sick?” “No, worse. He's discouraged.” It’s such a small moment. It happens so quickly, but the profoundness of it has still not ceased to lose it’s power no matter how many times I watch it: “ Worse… he’s discouraged.”
There is nothing more debilitating than discouragement. It steals hopes. It saps energy. It leaves its victims feeling helpless, ineffective, stuck and drained of power. Discouragement does just as it name implies: it strips us of our courage. And discouragement is a natural part of life. It doesn’t have to indicate a weakness in faith. It occurs when we have a loss of confidence in something or someone. When what we hoped would happen didn’t, and what we hoped wouldn't happen did.
In 2 Corinthians, Paul, a follower of Jesus, writes to a church in Corinth. A church that is facing persecution and suffering on account of their belief in Jesus Christ and he encourages them by saying this: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18.
I’ll be honest. My suffering often doesn’t feel light and momentary. In the heights of it, in the midst of it, it feels like the heaviest and most eternal thing I could ever go through. It feels permanent. But that wouldn’t be the truth. The truth is that there is something that is eternal and forever. The weight of that truth is far heavier than the depths of sorrow I have felt these past few years. It’s more weighty than the heartache I felt when I watched my sick nine-month old baby fight off a potentially deadly blood infection, more weighty than watching my husband fall when his arms failed to hold him up. More weighty and more powerful than having to walk away from our sweet little home and the possessions that have made up our lives for the past seven years of life.
And that weighty thing—that glory—is that God. Gets. The. Last. Word.That glory is that one day I will be able to look back on all of this and see and testify to all the good and beautiful and truly, eternal things the Lord gave us through all of these hardships. That these troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory—a story that will one day blow all of these difficulties out of the water.
So if you are with me, at the advent of a new year, and you can’t help but feel disappointed and discouraged… the Lord is not finished yet. He will complete the work he began in you (Philippians 1:6). He has made everything beautiful in His time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). The Lord will fight for you (Exodus 14:14). He is with you (Isaiah 41). No waters will overtake you and you will walk through fires and not be burned (Isaiah 43). He will meet all of your needs (Philippians 4:19). He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3).
When things feel like they aren’t working out, He is working all things out for your good (Romans 8:28).