I’m a working mom. I have two beautiful kids, a wonderful husband, and a blue dog who’s built scary but loves people too much to be scary. We’re busy, always busy. If you’re anything like me at all, your mind is on so many things at once, that it really becomes easy to lose sight of what’s good and constant and, well, promised. No judgement here. I’ve been in that boat a long time. But, this week, something has brought me back. Something surprising.
A little bit of background: I was raised basically from birth to know who God is and how much He loves me. I asked Him to be the Forgiver of my sins and the Leader of my life at a young age, and grew up surrounded by other people that loved Him as much or more than I did. My family always served God through our church and I still do the same. But all this doesn’t mean I didn’t question the rules and guidelines I was raised with on more than one occasion. It doesn’t mean I haven’t lost my way and made bad choices, and it certainly doesn’t mean I’ve always lived my life following the path God laid out for me.
We humans can muddle things up pretty badly when we try to do it “all by ourselves,” as my 4-year-old likes to put it (complete with an adamant foot stomp and a defiant look). I think that’s what happened to me. I’ve struggled to make religion and rules and doctrine make sense to me as an adult for a long time now, especially since I’ve had kids. I was trying to do it on my own terms, with my own knowledge, as I do many things in my life. It had started to feel a little like chaos. I felt overwhelmed and, ultimately, empty. But then, I was asked a question. On a job application of all things. And it stopped me in my tracks.
Late one night, I was sleepily pushing through the final questions of this application. It was a unique application because it was for a ministry job. It was a long one. But I wanted—no, needed—to get it done. It asked me, “What does ‘born again’ mean to you?” I was raised to answer this question. I knew this one. But, I suddenly felt unable to type a single word. At this point, I realized I was so ill-prepared in my heart and in my sleepy 1:00am-mind to even try to answer this question and give it the respect it needed. I felt so unworthy. So I closed my laptop and went to sleep.
That question, I thought about it the entire next day. “What does ‘born again’ mean to you?” What DOES it mean? I knew what to say in my head, but the words still wouldn’t come to me. You know what it did? It forced me to look at my Bible, and let God tell me, through His words, what it meant. This, of all things, was what I needed to be confronted with. This basic, fundamental question, put all my other questions - the chaos - at complete peace. It surprised me, but I was so excited...God was teaching me something that I’d known my whole life, but I had let it fade in the midst of all the other things I was trying to settle. He did it in kind of a funny way, but probably the only way He knew He’d get my attention. ”What does “Born Again” mean?” Stick with me here…
The phrase “Born Again” wasn’t something we Christians just made up to sound holy. In the Bible, Jesus used this very phrase as a metaphor, in John 3, to explain to a ruler—Nicodemus— how he could see the kingdom of God, to be with God in Heaven. In verse 3, He says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again he cannot see the kingdom of God.” Well, Nicodemus, a teacher in Israel, didn’t understand this at all. In verse 4, Nicodemus asked, “How can a man be born when he is old? Can he enter a second time into his mother’s womb and be born?” Jesus answered back, in verses 5 and 6, “Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit.” Jesus answered Nicodemus in a way that made sense to him, by using the phrase “born again” to signify that life as he knew it would change, once he allowed Jesus to lead it for him. It wasn’t a physical event, but a spiritual one.
It’s a simple concept, but not easy for us, especially for those of us who like to stomp our feet and do things “all by ourselves.” We have to recognize that we can’t save ourselves. We have to relinquish the control we think we have, to realize we don’t really have it in the first place, and allow God room to work in our lives. He can and will lead us all the way to Heaven. This is a gift that He offers to anyone that will take it: good or bad, saint or sinner. God says in Ephesians 2, verses 8 and 9, “For by grace you have been saved, through faith. And this is not of your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” We are naturally born imperfect, incapable of doing everything, or really anything, right. God offers us a gift that will give us a place in His family, in His perfection. Not because we deserve it, because, in our imperfection, we can’t make ourselves worthy of such perfection. But because He loves us so much that He isn’t put off by what we’ve done or will do, and He wants us—even longs for us—to follow Him while we’re on this earth, and to come home to Him when we’re done here. He promises, in 2 Corinthians 5, verse 17: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold the new has come.” If we accept the grace and forgiveness God offers us, we’ll—to put it in familiar terms—have a new lease on life. I won’t sit here and claim it’ll be an easy life, but we will have God in our hearts, Who will guide us, help us, forgive us and pick us up when we mess up, and bring us into His glorious perfection when we’re all done here on Earth.
It’s crazy how great all of this is; that there is a Higher Being who cares for us so much, that He’ll forgive all our wrongs, past and present, because He wants us all home in Heaven with Him someday. It’s also crazy that it’s easy to let life overwhelm us to the point, that we forget. That I forgot. I didn’t forget God...I forgot what He does for me - for everyone. I forgot to remember it. But when I was asked that question - “What does ‘born again’ mean,” the simplicity of it made me stop and think...and remember. It washed away all the doubts and questions of what’s right and what’s wrong. Even writing this all down here for you all to read is causing such...an ease of mind. This is something I understand, and I’ve realized that all the questions I was struggling with —as far as doctrine, and rules, etc—are all of my own making. God didn’t overwhelm me, I did. He had to pull me out of the mud I’d gotten myself stuck in, by hitting me over the head with this one basic question, that I’ve known the answer to my entire life; and yet it still speaks volumes to me today. I know I’m going to see Him in Heaven someday, because I’ve been born again - despite my amazing ability to overcomplicate and mess things up.
This article wasn’t intended to just tell you about me. Maybe you feel like there’s just too much going on and you can’t see through the craziness, sometimes? Maybe you like to be in control, but then you feel like that can just make things seem even more out of control. Maybe you’re even like me and you’ve grown up like I have, but things have gotten muddled and you need clarity. Cool thing is, God’s written down a manual - the Bible - for us to use in times like this. And He lets things happen, crazy, unexpected things like job applications, to get your attention. What could it be like if you let the all-powerful, all-seeing, all-knowing, and all-loving God lead your life?